


Intricate Rituals

by Euphoriana



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: But there shouldn't be any triggers, Elektra Natchios is only mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, I'll add more tags as we continue, M/M, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Matt Murdock is always a sad boy, Past Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios, Pining, This is going to be like a 'through the years' fanfic, Touch-Starved Matt Murdock, most of this is hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-20 12:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17022741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euphoriana/pseuds/Euphoriana
Summary: So this fic comes from a prompt I saw on discord. I ran a whole mile with it. Alternate name: Five times Matt “constructed intricate rituals that allowed him to touch the skin of other men” and one time Foggy saw right through him. Emotions ensue.





	1. First Year of College

Finals had been murderous. When Matt left his last exam, his bag was over his shoulder and the sun was hot on his back as he walked back to his dorm room. He had hoped to get some rest since the last week consisted of nothing other studying and Foggy forcing him to eat. Though that was just a dream, he already knew he’d be spending the rest of the day packing up the things in his room. Once finals were over they would have a day or two to get everything together before they had to move out for the summer. Oddly enough, Matt wasn‘t as stressed about this as he had expected to be at the start of the school year. But he knew well enough that Foggy was the only reason he didn’t have that added stress.

It was usually more mild at this time of year, but today it was warm enough outside that Matt had already worked up a sweat before he made it to his empty dorm room. It was a mess, an absolute catastrophe must have occurred before Foggy left. Foggy’s things were somewhere between packed and thrown all around his side of the room. Thankfully Matt’s side was closer to the door and Foggy had been contained enough to keep the tornado on his side of the room. He now had a few boxes stacked near his desk that hadn’t been there when Matt left earlier in the morning so he must have been packing while Matt was out, but it seemed more like he had just made a mess of things.

Matt tried not to venture too far into their room. Instead, he sat down at his desk to start organizing his things out. He didn’t have too much to pack, so if he worked on it today he’d have tomorrow to relax. Matt was still at his desk making neat piles of things to pack when he heard Foggy walking down the hall. By that point he had to have been in the room for at least a half hour. The strong scent of oil followed Foggy as he unlocked the door and came inside. Thankfully he didn’t bring any leftovers with him. 

Matt turned in his seat to face the door. “Hey,”

“Hey, Matt. How’d the test go?” Foggy asked, already taking his shoes off by the door. A moment later he was in the room, moving closer to Matt’s desk. 

This always became an issue. Foggy’s friendliness went well beyond anything Matt had experienced in a long time. It made him long for things he shouldn’t. He shouldn‘t get close to people because that made him weak. People always left anyway, no one in his life was ever permanent. It was usually easier to just keep everyone at arm’s length. It was never that easy with Foggy. His rational mind could never change the rush of butterflies he got as Foggy stepped close to him. Even with the overwhelming scent from the restaurant Foggy came from, Matt wanted nothing more than to be near him. Foggy never noticed, though, and Matt never actually allowed himself to act on anything he was feeling. He’d known Foggy for less than a year. There were people who hadn’t even stayed that long. Matt wasn‘t going to get his hopes up.

“Matt?” Foggy asked, moving closer now.

Matt hadn’t realized he’d gotten distracted. “Oh, yeah. It went fine… I’m just packing up now.” He said, making a vague hand wave at his desk. Matt didn’t have near as much to pack as Foggy did. He was confident he would finish with it before dinner.

“Yeah,” Foggy said, moving away now. He went to the other side of the room, stepping awkwardly over a pile of… Matt didn’t actually know what they were. It was a mix of plastic and fabric… all in different shapes and sizes, some toys knowing Foggy. That was the best guess he had. “I worked on packing for a whole thirty minutes this morning…. I think I might have made it worse.” His voice was heavy with mock worry. Even though Foggy was joking, it was probably the truth. His side of the room was a disaster.

Matt couldn’t help but let out a clipped laugh before he stood. He turned to walk toward Foggy’s voice. By noting how Foggy moved through the space, Matt worked out a decent path through the destruction. He didn’t think too much about it as he moved until Foggy made a surprised sound and stepped forward. It startled Matt at first, unsure of what to do as the other rushed towards him. He had hardly gotten to Foggy’s side of the room before it happened. He didn‘t put it together that Foggy might be worried about him. Since August Matt had been getting more and more comfortable with Foggy. He sometimes let the walls down more than he should have. He did things he wouldn’t normally do around other people.

“Hold up,” Foggy said, stopping just in front of Matt. “I’ve got a huge mess over here. I can barely make it through without tripping.” He said explaining himself as he patted Matt’s shoulder. It was friendly. He touched Matt in the same way he would when he got some older students to buy a pack of beer for them. Knowing that didn’t change the fluttering in his stomach again as Foggy moved closer. 

Matt tried to remind himself that it was just Foggy. He treated everyone like this.He smiled, reaching forward to take Foggy’s arm. “I was going to help you pack. I’m almost done with mine.” He said, keeping his hold on Foggy’s arm. He was almost done. He had already organized his desk, and he only needed to put everything in boxes. His clothes also would be easy enough to do quickly.

Foggy seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he didn’t move away. Instead, he laid a hand over Matt’s. “Okay, buddy. I appreciate it. I’ve kinda got things sorted out if you want to help me box them?” He phrased it as a question. As if Matt could say no to him.

Matt just nodded, and Foggy guided him over to a relatively clean space in the floor, then sat down, loudly patting the carpet next to himself. Matt sank down next to him, and Foggy placed an empty box in front of him. “There is a pile of books to your left, and another pile of random stuff next to it. They can both go in that box. I have some things over here to go through.” Foggy said. “Most of this stuff is going to stay boxed until next semester anyway.”

Matt started working on packing the books, but he was occasionally distracted. He and Foggy were so close, their arms occasionally brushed while they moved. They talked a little while they worked, Foggy complained about his finals for most of it. Neither of them had gotten any grades back just yet. Eventually, he started talking about how excited his mom was for Matt to stay over the summer. After the Christmas holiday when Matt told Foggy he was probably going to spend most of the time at the church, his friend seemed appalled. Somehow it had offended Foggy that Matt might not be spending the holidays like most people were. Foggy’s family was also okay with accepting Matt for the summer. It was another thing that Matt couldn’t allow himself to get used to. Foggy would eventually be gone too.

It felt like hours had passed by the time they finished. Both of them ended up on Matt’s side of the room, leaning back partly against his bed and partly against each other. Matt was tired now and somehow even with the warmth of the room, Foggy’s warmth beside him was indescribably comfortable. He hardly wanted to breathe for fear it would end. 

“It’s getting late… We should go get dinner or something.” Foggy eventually said though he didn’t make any attempts to move. 

“I’m not hungry. Let’s stay here.” Matt responded. He didn’t want to move. If he wasn’t careful he could have easily fallen asleep, right there. 

Sadly, Foggy moved away from him. Pulling back, maybe looking at him now? “Matt, buddy,” He started, disbelief peppered his tone. “I heard your stomach growl five minutes ago. When was the last time you ate?” The disbelief turned to an exasperated worry. Matt was sure he’d heard the same tone from Foggy’s mother during Christmas break.

“Uh… Breakfast?” It hadn‘t been that long, and he actually didn‘t feel hungry. He had been busy and wasn’t too worried about eating. Right now he was too wrapped up in Foggy to worry about something that would increase the gap between them.

On the other hand, Foggy basically gasped after Matt replied. He stood fast enough that Matt was surprised he didn‘t get light headed, then reached down towards Matt, basically dragging him to his feet. But his arms lingered, and that was okay with Matt. He unintentionally leaned into it, and maybe Foggy didn’t notice. “Matt!” He sounded scandalized, “It’s five o’clock and you haven’t eaten since breakfast?” Foggy said, and it was unnecessary for him to sound so offended by that. But Matt was thankful it was over the food, and not Matt‘s blatant disregard for Foggy’s personal space.

“I’m fine,” Matt said. Maybe if Foggy had been someone else he would have brushed the arm off his shoulder, but instead, Matt snaked his arm behind his back.

“Nope. We’re going to get food. Even if I have to drag you out there.” Foggy said, determined to get Matt out of the dorm room. Matt was okay with that. Foggy was supporting most of Matt’s weight at the moment. He was okay with this. As long as Foggy stayed close to him.

“Okay.”


	2. After Elektra

“Matt?” 

Foggy’s timid voice came from the other side of Matt’s bedroom door. Matt couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It was enough to hear the worry in his friend’s voice. He didn’t deserve that. He ignored the voice for now and stayed in his bed. They were on break. He didn’t have any school work to do, and he didn’t have anywhere to be. There was no reason for Matt to get out of bed. Foggy would eventually go away. It was almost Christmas, his family would want to see him. Matt didn’t have to go. He could stay there, just like he was. It was safe and warm and… when he was in his bed he didn’t have to answer questions.

Foggy was persistent though. “Matt, please.” He said knocking on the door now. Matt couldn’t take that right now. He still didn’t deserve it. Foggy must have better things to do right now, rather than dealing with the Matt Murdock horror show. He instinctively rolled over as if it would protect him, turning his back to the door because he knew what would come next. Foggy knew he was in there, it was only a matter of time before… yep. The handle clicked quietly as Foggy turned it and opened the door. A rush of air came into the room from the rest of the house. Foggy had showered recently, the scent of his shower gel hung heavy in the air. Matt pretended he didn’t notice the door opening.

“Matt… I haven’t seen you leave your room in two days.” Foggy was worried, but Matt couldn’t bring himself to say anything, or even acknowledge Foggy’s presence in the room. Not right now at least. 

He didn’t want the sympathy, and he really only wanted to be alone. Matt didn’t move or make any sounds hoping that Foggy would just think he was asleep. He couldn’t handle it right now. Hearing Foggy tell him that everything would be okay, that it would work out in the end, Matt wasn’t ready for that. He knew Foggy was only trying to be nice about it, but Matt had been through this before. He already knows that it will get easier. It will get to the point where it only hurt a little and maybe he wouldn’t think about it as often. But that wasn’t right now. Right now he wanted to be alone and he wanted to deal with this the only way he knew how. That didn’t include Foggy barging in and trying to make him feel better; there was no way that was going to help him.

It hadn’t been near long enough for Foggy to be so worried. Matt’s hands were still bruised from punching Roscoe Sweeney. Maybe it was his imagination, but he could also still smell the blood on them. It had only been five days. He went through his finals and everything. He made all of the appropriate conversations and faces while in public. Why did it bother Foggy that he couldn’t do it at home? He just needed to rest.

Foggy ignored the fact that Matt wasn’t responding, and didn’t leave the room. But the worst part was that this would only make it harder and Foggy couldn’t even see that. Matt needed to handle this on his own. Who was he going to rely on when Foggy leaves him? He needed to be ready for that. Matt was going mess this up one day too. It wasn’t supposed to hurt this bad. He wasn’t supposed to make friends anyway. He deserved this. 

“Matt, do you want to talk about it?” Foggy continued to push, but Matt couldn’t. It wasn’t only the fact that she left him. It was everything else she brought up. His Dad’s death, and the fear he had of himself. He thought he’d finally met someone that he could share his whole self with and she was gone too. He had opened up to her, Foggy allowed him to get comfortable around people again. He couldn’t make that mistake again. He wasn’t the kind of person that was good for relationships. It would be easier on both of them if Foggy would just go away.

The bed next to him dipped as Foggy sat down. Matt still didn’t move or make a sound. “Matt,” Foggy’s voice sounded sad, and Matt had to bite his lip to keep it from trembling too much. At least the lights were still off and Foggy couldn’t see his face. That might make it worse.

“I’m okay, Foggy. I’m just tired.” Matt said quietly, hoping Foggy would read the strain in his voice as being tired instead of Matt trying to keep himself from crying. He had to fight the urge to curl more into himself. He could hear it in Foggy’s heartbeat that he knew that Matt wasn’t telling the whole truth. Matt refused to talk about it, though. He couldn’t bring Foggy into that. He didn’t have to know how broken Matt was. He just needed Foggy to leave. If the other said his name one more time, he might actually start crying.

Instead of talking more, Foggy did something that was arguably worse. He moved, stroking a hand down Matt’s back. He started with slow circles in the middle of his back, a soft but gentle pressure. He never said a word, he just gently moved his hand. Matt felt his throat get tight. He wanted to hide his face and move away. He didn’t need this, and he didn’t deserve it either.

That feeling Foggy usually gave him crept into him again. Even though his throat was tight and he wanted to move away, he felt warmth. Something comforting that he hadn’t expected when Foggy touched him. Though he should be used to it by now. The softness that always came from Foggy. He was always concerned with things like this, Matt wasn’t sure he had ever seen Foggy pass up an opportunity to comfort someone. He just never expected that comfort would land so easily on him.

The taste of blood filled his mouth when Matt bit his lip hard enough to break the skin. That was the final act that started the collapse. He drew in a shuddering breath and it got caught somewhere in his throat, his shoulders shaking a little with the movement. 

Foggy made a sad sound in the back of his throat in response. “Comere.” His voice was so soft and so quiet. The words slurred together as he wrapped his arms loosely around Matt and laid down next to him. “I’m so sorry, buddy.” Foggy said once he was behind him.

Matt didn’t know what to do with this, but it made holding everything in harder. He didn’t want to fall apart right now. “I’m fine.” Matt said, at least this time his voice sounded steadier somehow despite the tears now freely falling down his cheeks.

“Mmm, I know.” Foggy said, clearly only to appease Matt. He would have known that without the ridiculous pattering of Foggy’s heart behind him. “I’m still worried about you.”

“I’m just tired.” Matt continued to lie. 

“Okay,” Foggy didn’t push it any further. He went quiet now. If he knew Matt was crying, he didn’t comment on it. Somewhere between the warmth of Foggy’s arms around him and the feeling of emotional release, Matt forgot that he wasn’t supposed to let this continue. He should have pushed him away, even if it felt good. Yet still, those thoughts were at the very edge of Matt’s consciousness as he fell asleep, comfortable for the first time in days.


End file.
